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Friend or Foe?? July 3, 2010

Posted by n2ition0709 in Uncategorized.

We have all experienced some form of what has become known as a ‘Frenemie’……

Can you tell the difference?  Here’s a few things to keep in mind, when you need to know the differences.

5 Ways to Spot Frenemies

Compliments Have Degrading Overtones

When our friend compliments us, are their words riddled with barely-veiled insults that end up cutting us down instead of making us feel good? For example: women are jealous of and threatened by all other women, including their female friends. Their way of responding to this threat is to make the other women around them feel “less than.” If we hear comments such as “You don’t look as big in that dress” or “Your hair is cuter than you usually wear it” from your “friend,” we can be sure they don’t have our best interests at heart. No matter how sweet-toned their voices or how big their smiles, their words are meant to hurt, and at the same time, to make themselves feel better at the expense or our self-confidence.

Is a People-User

Does a particular friend always need something from us, but is mysteriously unavailable the minute we need a favor? Do we feel exhausted when we see that our friend is calling again, because we know it will invariably concern something else they need? Genuine friendships are reciprocal and characterized by a healthy give-and-take, so we need to watch out for one-sided relationships that drain us instead of supporting us.

A Disloyal Flirt

Having a big flirt for a friend is one thing, but when their behavior knows no boundaries and they are shamelessly hitting on our ex and current relationships alike, we need to seriously reconsider their loyalty as our friend. Anyone who would make a pass at our mate, even an ex, without discussing it with us first, is obviously only looking out for number one and has no consideration whatsoever for our feelings.

A Grudge-Holder

We all need to stick up for ourselves when someone is disrespecting us, but it’s important to make our peace and move on. Some people simply can’t do this and end up behaving eternally catty and spiteful to every person they believe has done them wrong. Usually, people like this are quick to judge and equally quick to go to the mats where dirty fighting is the rule and psychological carnage is the result. Our best strategy is to avoid these nightmarish individuals before they eventually come gunning for us.

Is Two-Faced

A good friendship is composed of trust and honesty, where each friend can be the other’s confidante. If our friend is sharing our secrets with others or insulting us behind our backs, we can be sure they are not really our friend. The important issue about people with big mouths and petty personalities is that they usually get caught spouting their disloyalties sooner rather than later, in which case we can dump these surface friendships quicker than you can say “frenemie.”



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